who am i?
Who am I? That's a question I find myself asking a lot these days. Am I this enthusiastic and confident girl? Or am I a sad and depressed girl? Am I just a normal teenager? Or someone who needs to grow up and stop playing with dolls?
I know I have anxiety and depression, but I can't help but feel like there is something more. Maybe I won't feel this way after I've had my surgery. Or, maybe I'm feeling this way because there is something more, another stage in my transition? Maybe I need to accept who I am, in order for me to be ready, in case my treatment falls through, and I have to stop. Maybe I need to find who I am inside? I honestly don't know.
I only have a few months left, then I'm 20, and I don't like it. I've got only a few months left of my teenage years, and what have I done? Nothing. I've spent them all in education. You could say I've got qualifications, and years of experience. But, what have I done, that has a real impact on the world? If I died tonight, who would remember me? What would they remember me for?
Everyday, I talk to myself, like I'm recording a video, and I'm this huge famous person. I talk about the time I went on the red carpet, the time I met Dodie Clark and sang songs with her, and the time I went on tour. It all sounds strange, but it helps me cope when I'm alone.
I know I have anxiety and depression, but I can't help but feel like there is something more. Maybe I won't feel this way after I've had my surgery. Or, maybe I'm feeling this way because there is something more, another stage in my transition? Maybe I need to accept who I am, in order for me to be ready, in case my treatment falls through, and I have to stop. Maybe I need to find who I am inside? I honestly don't know.
I only have a few months left, then I'm 20, and I don't like it. I've got only a few months left of my teenage years, and what have I done? Nothing. I've spent them all in education. You could say I've got qualifications, and years of experience. But, what have I done, that has a real impact on the world? If I died tonight, who would remember me? What would they remember me for?
Everyday, I talk to myself, like I'm recording a video, and I'm this huge famous person. I talk about the time I went on the red carpet, the time I met Dodie Clark and sang songs with her, and the time I went on tour. It all sounds strange, but it helps me cope when I'm alone.
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