what’s the point?

Hi guys,

So Im feeling down. And here’s why.

I started college in September, and I’ve been pretending like I am really enjoying it, but the truth is, I’m not. Everyday I think about quitting, everyday I put on a brave face, everyday I pretend that I’m happy. I have had two warnings so far about attendance, because I travel 2 hours to get there, I have to catch a bus at 7, so I’m sorry if I sleep in. 

The amount of times I’ve thought about ending it, is in real. A few hours ago, I was in the bath, I thought about drowning myself. I love next door to main road, I’ve thought about jumping in front of a car. I’ve thought about slitting my wrists, I’ve thought about jumping off a bridge, I’ve even thought about over dosing.

No matter how much i try to make sure I do well, I just get it right.

I just wish I could be able to survive without going back to college, I just want it all to be over.

I also quit my job, because every time I went there, I wanted to burst into tears and run away. I was a bingo caller, and every time I made a mistake, everyone (including the players) would shout at me, making it impossible for me to not stress about it. I would go in, get told off, then told not to make anymore mistakes, and then I would make a mistake.

Sometimes I just feel like ending it all together.